When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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