I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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