yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
