am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
