I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
