Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
