he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
