i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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