Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
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