Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!

(269): View more from Michigan

...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today

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(520): View more from Arizona

just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??

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(515): View more from Iowa

once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.

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(567): View more from Ohio

I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..

(1-567): View more from Ohio

How so?

(567): View more from Ohio

Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.

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(337): View more from Louisiana

Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta

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(908): View more from New Jersey

once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed

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(561): View more from Florida

I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it

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(218): View more from Minnesota

You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?

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