And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
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