Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
