By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
