She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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