im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
