I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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