Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
