the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
