Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
lets start a swedish sibling band together
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
how does that bad decision feel?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
