I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
