I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
