The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
