Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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