from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
