theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
