Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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