I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
