I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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