I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Randomize
