I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
