Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
