You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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