I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I need to sanitize my soul.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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