I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
