For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
