You can't special order awesome
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
