She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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