worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
not ubering you a puppy
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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