Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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