Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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