i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
