and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
