9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
