On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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