Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
40s are totally the cure
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
