some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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