My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
