TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
