So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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