Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'd cum for enchiladas.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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