my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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