I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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