Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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