I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
