it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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