Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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