I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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