I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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