I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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