I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
