Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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